Some of us, though, were not convinced that we belonged in Sex Addicts Anonymous. No member can tell you whether you belong or not. That decision is up to you. We do know, however, that there is some problem in your life that brought you here seeking our help. Many of us came to believe that S.A.A. was the only place that we could talk about our increasing problem with sex addiction. Perhaps these problems used to be secrets until someone found out about them. These meetings provided us with an opportunity to talk about what had been happening in our lives.

Sitting in the rooms of Sex Addicts Anonymous, we were surrounded by people who understood what we were going through. Some members shared a little bit about their story, what brought them into the program. We could identify with their feelings of shame, loneliness, and behaviors.

What we have found remarkable in this fellowship is that there is a solution to our sexually addictive behavior. You may not understand how this could be possible. We ask you to keep an open mind and to keep coming back to meetings. Listen for the similarities when members share their experience, strength, and hope, rather than focusing on the differences. We also invite you to read the other brochures provided at meetings to help you get acquainted with the Eugene fellowship of Sex Addicts Anonymous.

Do I have to share?
Not if you don’t want to. It is not mandatory that anyone share. At some meetings we go around in a circle and share what our boundaries are and/or how we’re feeling today. Rest assured that you can simply say, “I’ll pass for now.”

If and when you are ready to share, you may share about your own experience, while using “I” statements. We strongly suggest that you share in a general way, not rehashing details that could be sexually abusive to others. When in doubt, talk to another member after the meeting and ask what may be appropriate to share at the group level. Listen to other members’ sharing as a guideline. We found that changing how we speak with others at the group level helps cultivate an environment of safety for everyone present.

We typically do not address other members directly by name during our sharing because this takes the focus off the person who is sharing and onto the person who is being addressed without their consent. We also do not comment on another member’s sharing because our meetings are a safe place where we can talk about what is going on for us, sharing our own experiences. Members will not feel safe sharing if they feel another member might criticize them. If you have any questions that come up during the meeting, you may discuss with another member after the meeting is done. We do not normally give feedback during a meeting.

What are “circle boundaries”?
The Three Circles brochure can be helpful in figuring out what “inner circle behaviors” are. Many of us have also found that working with a sponsor has helped us establish what inner circle behaviors are and becoming sober from them. To find out more about sponsorship and what it entails, we suggest reading our sponsorship pamphlet.

You may be comparing your behavior with the way other members have acted out in their addiction, focusing on the difference and having a difficult time identifying with their behaviors. The Bubble pamphlet can help you identify with some of the common aspects and feelings we experience while in our active sex addiction, regardless of the specific behaviors involved.

What is the Seventh Tradition and do I have to contribute to it?
The Seventh Tradition is a way for our groups to be self-supporting. It states, “Every S.A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” We invite you to be our guest for the first six meetings and ask you not to contribute and then only if you feel like contributing to the fellowship. The Seventh Tradition is voluntary, so we do not require that any member contribute to the Seventh Tradition. We contribute if we want to contribute.

The contributions raised by each meeting go to pay our costs to keep Eugene S.A.A. operating and available to all of us, oldtimers and newcomers alike. Contributions go to pay rent for our meeting space, buy printed materials such as our brochures, donate to the International Service Organization of S.A.A., and provide other services to our fellowship such as a phone contact line, a post office box, a Eugene S.A.A. website, and other outreach efforts. No member in Eugene S.A.A. is paid to carry the message of the program.

Is S.A.A. a religious organization?
No. Sex Addicts Anonymous is not affiliated with any religious denomination. The spiritual nature of our program is derived from our own personal experiences. Everyone who is seeking to stop their own addictive sexual behavior is welcomed here regardless of what their religious affiliations or lack thereof. Some of our meetings are held in churches, but we, as an organization, are renters of these facilities rather than members of these churches.

And if I have more questions?
Please feel free to ask any member if you have any more questions about Sex Addicts Anonymous and/or about recovery.

We do not have to go through the pain of our sex addiction alone any longer. Here is a group of people who understand your experience like no others because they have gone through the wringer themselves and have found a way out. This is what we want to share with you: our solution. Keep coming back, because you are always welcomed here.